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Tuesday, June 19, 2012

#894 Me Vs The Boy Who Refuses To Write

Sekadar gambar hiasan... Masih citer sama. He still refuses to write. Semalam aku sama encik Jack tido dengan dahi berkerut bengangkan dia. Have you ever face the same thing like us? Tak tahu nak buat cemana lagi dah. Yes, people keep tellling us to be cool, he's just 5 years old, everything's gonna be fine, give him time yada-yada. But the truth just hurt. 
Semalam pukul berapa baru buleh tido. Sakit hati, bengang, risau, menyampah, fedap, dan segala elemen negativity penuh dalam kepala. Rasa nak lari je pegi mana-mana, tengok citer Korea sampai lebam bijik mata. Perasaan macam ni buat aku rasa sangat-sangat failed la menjadi parent. Encik Jack pujuk, dia cakap Kalu Allah ambik sekeping daging kat lengan dia tu, mungkin la Allah bagi kelebihan lain untuk dia. Cuma kita aje yang tak tahu, tak nampak lagi.
I don't know. Yang aku tahu, aku dah terbayang dia keje dengan Orang Kaya Apal dah. Itupun kalu tahu buat keje. Uiiii... Risau betul. Pegang pensel, pastu auta tak habis-habis. Jari tak bergerak, mulut je potpetpotpet. Fokus takde. Tak boleh dok diam. Tak boleh konsentret. Apa kena la. Kalu aku nak terpercaya teori budak lahir 8 bulan tak excel, korang tak setuju pulak. Tak tahu lah. Pegi sekolah, cikgu pun serender. Kat umah mak bapak pun serender. Nak jadi apa? Makin buat tak tahu, makin la dia tak nak menulis. Makin kita ajar makin dia mencabar. 
Hid the toys? Lepas balik sekolah, 2 minit sekali dok tanya mana toys dia. 2 minit sekali dok suruh beli toys baru. Meroyan pulak dok dengar dia repeat benda sama. He's really good at it. Aku dah explain betul-betul kenapa dia mesti tahu menulis. Cakap dengan budak 5 tahun lain maybe lagi senang dari cakap dengan dia. Mesti korang baca ni menggeleng kepala kan. Apa la... Jadi mak orang takleh keluar benda-benda negativity dari mulut. Kena macam tu lah. Macam ni lah. Pada mereka yang hanya tahu berkata, meh.. Sila pinjam dia buleh seminggu tengok cane.
Sampai satu tahap semalam aku dah takleh nak tengok dia. Furious okeh. Tersangat. Nampak je muka, membara-bara nak marah. Biarlah orang nak kata childish pun. Kalu pukul, lebam satu badan pun dia tetap takkan tulis. What's the point. Aku tak pernah jumpa lagi budak yang keras hati macam ni. Sad la. Sepatutnya aku surirumah, anak lagi excel sebab aku buleh ajar sendiri. Kalu kat negara omputeh tu buleh la tak pandai sekolah pun buleh jadi jutawan. Tapi Malaysia ni apa lah... *Umur 5 tahun pun dah risau masa depan dia.

Jadi mak orang memang seronok. Kecik-kecik mengikut je. Bila dah besar sikit, dah mula nak ikut kepala sendiri tak nak dengar cakap kita barulah rasa part tak bestnya. Tengok anak orang lain, walau tak suka menulis macam mana pun, ada jugak tulis-tulis satu dua huruf. Ini, nak try pun tak nak. Asyik cakap tak pandai, tak pandai, tak pandai je alasannya. Bila pegang pensel sama-sama, dia pegang la. Bila kita lepas suruh dia tulis sendiri, tangan terus stop tak gerak-geri dah. Otak dia takleh nak hantar mesej ke nerve jari, macam mana mata tengok bentuk tu, macam mana jari nak buat bentuk tu. 

Oh rasa macam nak gila!

  *yah, he's still 5 years old boy.

What I fear with Adam's problem, please read this. (taken from internet)

Dysgrapia, the struggle to write.

My son has never been a child who liked to color. As a mom and I never thought much about it. I taught preschool for several years and have often encountered children, most of them boys, who didn't like to color. He was pretty normal in all other aspects, he likes all the things boys like. He loves to play with cars, build with blocks, play sports, and just generally be outside. So, when he went to Kindergarten I expected it to be a typical first year. Boy was I wrong.
Not long after starting Kindergarten, he started having trouble. His teacher told me that he was having a hard time keeping up in class. All of the other students finished their work before he was even half way finished. She felt as if he wasn't paying attention. She told me that he knew the material but he would often "daydream" when it came time to "do the work. Now, as a mother hearing this I immediately began scolding my child. I beleived what the teacher was telling me and believed that my child just wasn't trying.
After he graduated kindergarten we moved to a new home in a new state. Because of the difference in the two states it wasdetermined that my child would again be placed in Kindergarten. Throughout the year my son struggled with school. It was the same story over and over. He knows the material but daydreams when its time to do the work. His new teacher even noted that he was having a hard time writing. She told me once that because his name wasso long she didn't make him write it on the top of his papers. He graduated Kindergarten for the second time and we moved on to first grade.
After starting first grade his teacher informed me that my son was really having a hard time writing his name. She asked me if we could shorten his name or give him a shorter nickname to use so he didn't have to write so much. After 2 semesters of struggling, and much insistance on my part the school finally agreed to test him for a learning disability. It took almost 2 months to get him tested and finally in January (we were in year round school) we got the results.
According to the school, my son has dysgraphia. I was thrilled that they had come up with a diagnosis! I was ready to jump in and do what needed to be done to help him overcome it. Unfortunately, they told me, he did not qualify for services. Furthermore, since he still had trouble writing his name they would be holding him back in first grade.
WHAT???? I was shocked! I couldn't believe that these people who knew my son had a problem were telling me that they weren't going to help him. I immediately went home and began researching dysgraphia. Trouble is there isn't much information out there. All of the information I was recieving was basically telling me what I already knew. Children with dysgraphia have trouble writing. They suffer from cramps in their hands has they write, and often have inconsistancies in the quality of their handwriting.
Armed with this in black and white I returned to the school to see if I could at least get them to let my son use a computer to complete his assignments. No dice. I was told by the prinicpal that computers weren't allowed in elementary school. Period.
This being said, I have taken my children out of school. My son now thrives. We work on things in small bursts. Most of his studies are done orally or through hands on activites. When we have something that needs to be written, we use a computer. For my family it is the best decision that we have ever made. Dysgraphia effects lots of children. It often goes undiagnosed because it is often classified as lazyness or boredom. My child is neither. While he isn't perfect, I wasn't going to allow someone else decide what he COULDN'T do.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

sabar la..kakak pun risau gok even leh dgr je tak be thr n experience it. teruskan berdoa..we dunno rite. He's a bright boy..just not the time yet. Kalu tgk nanny 911 tu..mcm2 perangai..tentu ada solution..tp kena control emosi..hard & pain but kena thn gak..kalau marah2 lg budak tu keras or lg dia putus asa or tak nak kerjasama.mayb cara kita tak kena ngan dia. Tambah dia tu manja..all these yrs duk main..give him a little bit time & nvr give up with him..my prayers always with uols! muahs

faerni said...

rasanya dysgraphia sama mcm dyslexia or dyscalculia in terms of learning. kids always struggling at the early schooling years (often being labelled as lazy by the teachers) but when time passes by it will heal. albert einstein and shakespeare are two dysgraphia people by the way. i think it's the time for u to make a move for example pergi belajar kete so easier for you to go and peep adam at kindy every other day, talk to his kindy teacher, bawa dia gi playground sambil bribe dia suh tulis or kids play area yg ada lego2 tu so that he can improve his motor skills... cadangan saja... huhuhu.....

raudhah sutrisno said...

Dear Mummy Teh,

Sedih pulok baca entry kali ni..as a mother, memang kita nak anak2 kita excel or at least at par with other kids at their age kan..but then every kids mmg tak sama..every kid have their own potential n weakness..(i know these words doesn't comfort u pon..)
So, I think maybe the best u can do is to bring him to do some evaluation. Let the experts do their job..bila dah evaluate then baru tahu dia betul2 ada masalah or just he purely being manja!=)
But apa2 pun, as a mom u have to be strong no matter how hard it is..it is easier said than done..tapi itulah sebabnya kita dipilih utk jadi emak! coz we are tough ppl!!
All the best mummy, and sabar banyak2..